What's there inside you. Shines through to me.

When I was in primary school. I absolutely hated it. I always thought that I had something wrong with me. What was it about me that made everyone want to leave me? I just didn't understand. I got ditched during primary school twice. I realized that people are horrible at that day and age. And that's when my confidence went downhill. This is probably why I also have such a big fear of loneliness and everyone leaving me.
When I was in primary school I had a plan, that during high school I wouldn't let it happen again. I would start a new life. I wanted people to like me. I wanted attention. It's quite hard for someone as plain and ordinary as me. So I just kind of put on an 'act' that I was a nice and honest person. Yes, people liked it, even I started to like it about myself, but still I wasn't getting the attention I wanted. Oh, I was so naive back in Year 8. Because sure enough I got what I wanted, for the wrong reasons. And guess what? I hated that too. So now I am who I am now. Confident enough to say whatever I want that would make someone laugh(usually me because I laugh at my own jokes...) but still I can't say what I really want to say. I still keep all of that inside me unless you ask me or force it out of me. I'm not the person who will strike up a conversation about myself because yeah as I said I'm just a plain ordinary girl, that I doubt anyone would want to talk or know about. And if you do ask me a question I will straight forwardly tell you the truth. So please, don't accuse me of stuff I dislike.
I might say things that will revert other people's attention to myself. Only because I'm just saying things that I believe are wrong.
When someone that has got a girlfriend/boyfriend and flirts with someone else. That shit fucking pisses me off. You do it and I will tell you off. I don't care if you think I am being mean to you. I don't care if you won't like me. All I care about is that your girlfriend/boyfriend won't have to deal with the anxiety that they get from thinking they are too boring for you. They get the wrong ideas and everything makes them insecure. You have to know and understand how fucking much it hurts when the people you love leave in some way or the other. Well I do. It fucking kills. Therefore I want to prevent that shit happening. If I lose a friend or two. I don't care. I'm not the one that is getting effected by this, sure the friendship might be on the line but I reckon the relationship you have with your significant other is more important. Far more important because I'm not important at all :).


So yeah. just a bit of background information about myself that may answer some questions on why I am like I am. And if you still have some questions don't be afraid to ask, I won't bite :D