And I've lost who I am, and I can't understand why my heart is so broken

AIYAHHH. What to do? Can't do it, I don't have the courage, or the confidence to. I'm too scared what you will think. I'm scared what everyone else will think. I spent all this time confused, thinking that I was happy, that I enjoyed life as it is. I know there's something missing. There's something I want. Something I need. It's out of reach though...

And there has been certain events that just makes me even more confused and just gets me thinking.imagining. Something that I think ought to exist but never will.